Sexual violence is notoriously underreported among women for a variety of reasons. Men and boys face their own set of challenges in revealing sexual abuse because of society’s expectations for what it means to be a man.
“Feelings of self-blame can be elevated for some male survivors who have a sense of shame for not stopping abuse and feeling like less of a man because they don’t have control over their bodies, leading to additional withdrawal or isolation from friends and family.”
Men account for 8% of RAINN’s help line users under 18 and 18% of callers older than 18, according to data provided to the organization. Men and boys often discuss sexual abuse that occurred in the past, with 70% of men and boys discussing an event that occurred more than five years ago and 58% of them discussing a repeated event in the past that is no longer occurring.
It took Keith 35 years to share his story of a stranger abducting and raping him. He also shared his story for RAINN’s survivor series.
“You gotta believe that what happened to you wasn’t your fault. And then you make that transition to being a survivor,” he says in the video.
Both men are sharing their stories so no one else experiences what they went through. Not necessarily the assaults; they had no control over that. But the years of fear, self-loathing and shame that followed.
Adam questioned his sexuality: Was he gay because he became aroused during the attacks? Could he get away with killing his abuser? What would his parents do if he killed himself?
“Guys are supposed to be strong, not supposed to let people rape us,” Adam said.“When you’re a guy, it’s like, how could you let an older man rape you?”
Today, he knows that it’s not his fault and that he’s not alone. That’s his message to others: “Speak up and don’t be afraid people won’t believe you,” he said.
“Because they will.”
What it's like to be a male survivor of sexual assault #JHedzWorlD
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